woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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