Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
