As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
