the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Come see our sink grown plant.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
