Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
