He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
