I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
So squirting runs in the family.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The air was thick with penises
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize