i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
