Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
She even gives head with a lisp.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
