I wannas sexs uuuuu
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
