This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
