FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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