I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
