I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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