how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize