last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
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Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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