just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize