i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Only a mothe r could love this liver
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
