The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
