Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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