you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
