Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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