Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
