yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
