Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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