um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
pray to the hookup gods
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
