a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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