I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
The convent might be a nice break from real life
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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