I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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