There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
