New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
