I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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