Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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