i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
