If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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