So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
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the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
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