google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
