She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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