just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
