Well apparently he's into motor boating.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
It's rum buckets o'clock
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
