we have pet lesbian snakes
I think i peed on brittanys purse
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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