I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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