When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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