So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Randomize
