Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Randomize
