Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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