He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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