Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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