Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
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