Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
