My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize