Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
