If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
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