That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
