I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
