It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Life is so much better after having sex.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
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