Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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