Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
