Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
