actually, I'm a sock model
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize